Have you ever had reality hit you smack dab in the face yet chose to deny it.
A quick look around would indicate virtually everyone has done this at some point or another.
The fact is we may know there are changes we should make to live a more quality life, but don’t. We often postpone taking the initiative to make the change because the thought of the change is more painful than continuing a behavior that may not be serving us at the highest level.
This thought came to me as a result of a discussion with a friend who is a nutritionist. We were discussing the health choices (or lack thereof) people make.
A mutual acquaintance is in dire need of lifestyle changes. Changes that may be the difference between life and death. Yet, our acquaintance is not taking the necessary steps to make the change.
When I asked our acquaintance what his behaviors were costing him he rattled off things like energy, lack of focus at work, not feeling good about himself and the looming threat of long-term disability.
I then asked him what it would take to live a healthier lifestyle? He was quick to respond that changing his eating habits and incorporating exercise into his daily schedule. Just as quickly as he rattled off the solution he gave reasons why now is not the best time for him to make any changes.
With the very real threat of longterm disability looming this gentleman is not willing (at this point) to admit the truth and make much needed changes.
Makes me wonder what it will take, if anything, for him to do things differently.
Sadly, there are things we all know we would benefit from changing, but for our own reasons we don’t.
I speak from my own experience. For years I had very destructive behaviors that ended me up broke, homeless and helpless. I was in my twenties at the time.
It wasn’t until I got so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I began the road to a better way of life.
The fact is, we may know we need to make changes yet for any number of reasons we don’t. A primary reason may be we somehow feel safer doing what is familiar (even though it may be deadly) than getting out of our comfort zone to make the change.
The bottom-line is we have more control over the quality of our life than many people care to admit. After all, it’s in this admission we can no longer live the lie. It’s in the denial we can blame outside forces for why our lives may not be where we want them to be.
Do you live with any level of denial of what you need to do to have a better quality of life? Whether it be to do with your health, your finances, emotional or spiritual well-being, your business or job, or any area that is not where you desire it to be – is there an immanent change you need to make?
The first step is to decide what it is you want. Then you must take intentional action that moves you closer to your desire with each passing day.
As a quick fix, instant gratification society we may get discouraged when the results we desire don’t happen immediately.
The fact is, whatever needs repair likely didn’t get in the shape it is in overnight. Nor will it be fixed overnight.
However, if one takes daily action toward your vision you may be pleasantly surprised at how quickly things do change.
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Most of us get ourselves into a “change is hard — big change is really hard” mentality. It doesn’t help all the things we read about how difficult change is. Sure, it can be, but reinforcing it doesn’t really help.
Some changes are very simple. How hard is it to change a dollar bill into four quarters? Or change a light bulb?
What happens is that people focus too much on the change itself, and not enough on the process of change. It is ABSOLUTELY OK to do everything you possibly can to make the change easier on yourself. Trick yourself. Nag yourself. Put things in your attention and in your way, both literally and figuratively, that will remind you of the need to change and/or support the actions of that change.
One of the biggest ways to make change easier is to break a big change down into smaller pieces. If you can’t change everything, at least change something! I know from personal experience that this works especially well with the health/nutrition issue.
For example, I find it impossible to jump just immediately to the healthy lifestyle that I ultimately envision for myself. But I can (and have) switch to eating almost entirely organic, natural and locally sourced foods. And I’m finding I’m eating less because the food is richer and more satisfying. And I find it easier and easier to make healthier choices, even when eating out or having a late night snack.
And I’m not exercising every day yet, like I want to, but I am VERY consistently going to the gym at least 2-3 times a week, and have sustained that for months, which I’ve never done before in my life. And the more I go, the more I want to go. I also found a pre-workout nutritional supplement (moomiyo – widely available herb) that makes my workouts more effective and keeps me from getting sore. Now, I can’t imagine working out without it, and I want to go to the gym even more. And then that got me interested in other nutritional supplements, which I’ve avoided for years, and am doing very well on those.
Point is, take change it in baby steps, if you need to. Just keep stepping in the right direction and all the little changes will add up to bigger changes.
Small changes the “kaizen” way. This means when you make a small change, you’re flying under your critical editor radar.
Anytime I want to make a change, I list out the steps to get to the big change and do one at a time. Works well in business also.
Wise words Kathleen. We know first hand that the desire to change has to be greater than the comfort level we currently adhere to – even when it’s painful.
I have found that if a person can look beyond their own comfort to something that they aspire to accomplish, it helps motivate them to move forward on the new and healthier path. This can be as simple as: I want to be a good example for my kids. Another I hear often is: I want to be around for my grandchildren.
Looking beyond your immediate gratification can often make the journey to lifestyle change seem easier because the big WHY has been stated and staying stuck is really no longer an option.
Thanks for the great post.
Excellent points Sandi and Judith. Yes, it’s the baby steps that all add up.